"To me, you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon."
I know it's been forever since my last post, but I'm trying desperately to finish my thesis, so I've been using all of my writing energy on that. Since I've gotten several requests for an update, I thought that tonight might be time, especially after I spent twelve minutes trying to think of the word "influential."
You know, I feel like I have no concept of time. Before I came back to the States, I usually only knew what day of the week it was because I had to request my books online using a calendar thingy. Now, I know what day it is, but I feel like I just got back the day before yesterday. Either that or six months ago. The real problem, though, is that I haven't yet wrapped my head around the fact that I no longer live in France. I've always come back for a little while in the summer, and this is what this feels like. When I think about my apartment in Paris that's not my apartment, I get kind of sad. More than anything, it just feels bizarre. Frankly, this is one reason I've put off blogging; I don't know how to explain how odd I feel even as I feel like I've come home. I've noticed these little ways in which I've changed, ways I just don't fit here anymore. I haven't spent as much time thinking about that as I'd like, but once I get a chance to overanalyze it, I'll maybe share those conclusions.
Oh - I did mention that I left Paris and moved back to the States, permanent-like? Haven't figured out what I'm doing next, but I assume it'll be some sort of a job. I haven't actually finished my master's program (or my thesis, for that matter) so I get to go back for a few days in October to defend it and give you all a reason to call me
Maîtresse, but I'm pretty much stateside for the duration.
Since I got back, I've been mostly socially AWOL due to the unfinished thesis, but I did get to spend a week remembering how strong my leg muscles used to be (here's a Zannah fact: I rode horses growing up. As in, show jumping and a bit of dressage for 10 years or so) and realizing that being single isn't so bad or even so lonely when you can be surrounded by a gaggle of cousins.
Last Sunday, I knitted this:
to go along with this:
It seems planning to be in one country for what I anticipate will be long-term means I've taken another step closer to being an adult-with-stuff. No longer is my viola the most valuable thing I own. Mostly, though, I'll just be glad when I've figured out exactly how big my car is; right now I feel like a bit of a rube when parking. (And one more
shot of the car for my little sister.)
Certainly, other things have happened. I'm sure they have. I just can't seem to remember them, not when the theories of Philippe Ariès are floating through my brain. Oh, I went to the Days of '47
parade this morning to watch my parents wear cowboy gear and wave from the back of a convertible. And I'm going to the
Days of '47 rodeo tomorrow for the second time this week, so maybe I'll manage to blog again, if only to tell you about the big huge mechanical boot. And share pictures. You can't fully appreciate the boot without pictures.
Ugh. As much as I spoke English in France, my tongue is still getting worn out with speaking English all the time, and I feel like whatever strides I made in improving my French accent have all disappeared. Is it time to move back yet?
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